"Stretching"

So Pigpen and I have been doing premarital counseling through a local LCSW. And its been an interesting experiment mostly b/c I've done a lot of therapy through the years (when you have your parents divorce, a broken neck from a car accident that wasn't your fault and your own marriage and divorce, before you are 25, therapy would hopefully be in your life.) but Pigpen is new to the world of LCSWs, psychologists and psychiatrists. He was very anti-therapy and vowed never to go, but when things got bad enough between us (as in we seemed to be fighting A LOT), he decided he'd try it out. We went once in Sept, but then our fall schedules were INSANE so we had to take a hiatus until the new year. We started again in Jan and have gone 3 times since then, including last night. And its REALLY been an eye opening experience for both of us (I think for him too--honestly, I can only speak for myself). I thought by going, we'd talk over things we were disagreeing on and Pigpen would see things more clearly and that he would change and we'd stop fighting (or really, I'd stop yelling, which is what was really happening, but whichever it is, I thought Pigpen would be the one to change--god, I'm such an only child.) But I think, of the 4 other LCSWs and psychologists and 1 psychiatrist I've been too, this time has been better for me to learn about me and the people in my life. I have used this LCSW in the past, but even compared to then, I really think these sessions with Pigpen have been more enlightening than all my other sessions combined. Last night, I agreed to a VERY interesting experiment. Recently, I've noticed (as has Pigpen) that I am VERY short fused. I am quick to react negatively and in a very nasty way when something ticks me off. I start fights that are really not big issues and depending on my mood, I get pissed off very quickly---and I'm really only getting mad and being nasty to Pigpen (which I HATE and desperately want to change). So last night, as I tried to figure out the cause of this anger (my job? hormones? the Pill vs the Patch?), I agreed to not EVER react. I must keep calm, keep my anger to myself and instead of yelling at Pigpen, vent by writing my anger down and not putting it out loud on Pigpen. That way, we can have a safe relationship again and Pigpen doesn't have to walk around wondering when I'll yell at him next. We're allowed to have anger by appointment only (Ah yes, the Imago Theory). I can't just react on the spur of the moment--instead I need to ask Pigpen if he is in a frame of mind to hear my thoughts and he can say yes or no and schedule another time to talk. So, I'm SO curious to see how hard this will be for me. I did great last night after our session, but I was only awake for another 3 hours after we left the LCSW. And this morning was fine, but knowing how up and down my moods have been over the past few weeks, I think I'm in for a real interesting time. Wish me luck, because I'm tired of being angry and mean and not much fun to be around!